Open Mic night!
by Bigtoven
Summary: Well, if you go by what the title says then you'll know what it is, . The characters from Inuyasha singin' on stage, though it's actually more storylike! Also this is rated due to coarse Language. Nothing else... That I can currently think of.
1. Chapter 1

**Bigtoven:** Hello there, this is Bigtoven, hope you like this fic. Oh also just so you know this is a funny song fic. I've never done a song fic before, so bear with me please. I also checked the TOS, and a bunch of other things like that on the site, and it doesn't say anything about song fics not being allowed so it should be okay.

**Warning:** Strong language, and ooc-ness that's about all for this chapter.

**Disclaimer: I do not own the series Inuyasha, by Rumiko Takahashi, nor do I own the song 'When you're Evil', by Voltaire. If you think I do then….. YOU ARE ON SOME SERIOUS WHACKED OUT SHIT DUDE!!!!!!! Ahem… yeah so you now know that I do not own either.**

_**Stuff to know**_

//// Place/Action ////

\\ Action on screen \\

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

_-Song-_

* * *

//// in some Village with Inuyasha and crew ////

The Inu gang was walking through a seemingly normal looking village, when Kagome happened to spot something peculiar. "Does that say open mike night?" Kagome asked, wide eyed while pointing toward a tavern that had a huge sign in the front clearly saying "**Open Mike night/day, anyone welcome to come up and sing for free,** **'cause we 'aint payin'! Starting from sun up until tomorrow night"** "your right Kagome, it does say that. Hmm… Let's go check it out, sounds like fun, what do you think Inuyasha" Sango said looking at the sign, then toward Inuyasha. "Feh… whatever, Naraku hasn't shown up in a while, and there's no rumors about any jewel shards, so I guess it'll be okay." Inuyasha said, walking toward the entrance, with the others following.

//// Inside the Tavern ////

All the lights were off inside the tavern. There were little round tables with about five to six chairs per table. Each table also had a candle lit right in the middle as well. The stage was a big… well stage, with a microphone standing in the front of it, and a huge white screen in the background. Many people were seated looking toward the stage. Amid all those people were Kouga, Kaede, Kikyou, Sesshomaru, Rin, Jaken, Hakkaku, Ginta, Kohaku, Kagura, Kanna, and a bunch of others that they know. Apparently they had all had the same Idea. Though Naraku had yet to be seen. Taking a seat in a small five chaired table the Inu gang slowly looked around, toward all of their enemies/ allies.

All was quiet when suddenly all the candles went out. It was pitch black, suddenly a scream in the dark "AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR cough, cough RRGGGGGGGG hack, hack GGHHHHHHHH Gasp, wheeze, wheeze…. Plop" err… Continuing…. All was dark, when suddenly a spotlight started shining around the stage going 'round, and 'round, occasionally going over a strange dark figure, but going to fast to actually make out who it was. "Over here you idiot! Stop moving the damn spotlight around so much!" Finally landing on the figure it showed to be a guy wearing a baboon cloak- like thing. The figure quickly ripped off the baboon costume- thingy, and threw it in to the crowd, (with many protest's from some angry dude who got hit squarely in the face by it) revealing himself to be none other than Naraku. Many shouts of anger and outrage, were quickly silenced as Naraku slowly picked up the mike, taking a deep breath to quell his nerves (as if he has any) he started speaking to the crowd "Hello Ladies, Gentlemen and all you bastards out there who want to kill me, you know who you are. Now I shall be singing a favorite song of mine by Voltaire called 'When you're Evil', any complaints will be shoved up your ass you all got that!" At the collective nod from the crowd Naraku began…

_-When the Devil is too busy  
And Death's a bit too much  
They call on me by name you see,  
For my special touch.-_

\\ picture of Naraku\\_  
-To the Gentlemen I'm Miss Fortune  
To the Ladies I'm Sir Prize  
But call me by any name  
Any way it's all the same-_

\\ pictures of all the guys & girls from Inuyasha\\

_-_ _I'm the fly in your soup_

Suddenly Kagome's voice can be heard "Waiter there's a fly in my soup!"_  
-I'm the pebble in your shoe  
I'm the pea beneath your bed  
I'm a bump on every head_

\\ Picture of Shippo nursing a huge bump on his head complements of Inuyasha\\_  
-I'm the peel on which you slip_

\\ Picture of Kouga slipping on a banana peel\\

"So it was Him!"_  
-I'm a pin in every hip  
I'm the thorn in your side  
Makes you wriggle and writhe  
And it's so easy when you're evil  
This is the life, you see  
The Devil tips his hat to me_

\\ Picture of the 'Devil' in hell, tipping his hat to Naraku\\_  
I do it all because I'm evil  
And I do it all for free  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need_  
\\ Picture of Kagome quietly sobbing in front of her busted up bike, with Naraku hiding behind a tree laughing\\

"It was you! I blamed Inuyasha for that!"

"And she gave me one _Hell_ of a sitting for that one you bastard! You now got another thing I want to kill you for!"

- _While there's children to make sad  
While there's candy to be had_

\\ Picture of Shippo crying because his candy is missing\\_  
while there's pockets left to pick_

Kagome suddenly reaches into her pocket (don't ask, she just has one okay) "Hey, where's all my money, and the shikon jewel shards!_  
While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs_

\\ Clip of Naraku pushing Kaede down some stairs, then laughing evilly\\

"I knew that I didn't just trip!"_  
I'll be there, I'll be waiting round the corner_

\\ Picture of Naraku waiting around a corner, about to jump out at Kohaku\\

"Uhh… Again that was a good one!"_  
It's a game. I'm glad I'm in it_

\\ Picture of Naraku playing Monopoly\\_  
'Cause there's one born every minute_

\\ Picture of all of Naraku's current incarnations\\_  
And it's so easy when you're evil  
This is the life, you see  
The Devil tips his hat to me  
I do it all because I'm evil  
And I do it all for free  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need  
_\\ Picture of Naraku greedily clutching a container labeled 'Tears'\\

- _I pledge my allegiance, to all things dark  
And I promise on my damned soul  
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub  
Has never seen a soldier quite like me  
Not only does his job, but does it happily._

\\ Clip of Naraku with the nearly completed Shikon no Tama laughing maniacally \\

_-_ _I'm the fear that keeps you awake_

\\ Picture of Shippo shivering in fear, repeatedly looking towards a spider shaped shadow, at night while everyone is asleep\\

"Now I know who to blame for that!"  
_I'm the shadows on the wall_  
_I'm the monsters they become_

\\ Clip of Naraku doing shadow puppets, and laughing insanely\\  
_I'm the nightmare in your skull_  
_I'm a dagger in your back_

Kikyou with a dagger in her back "Ouch" 'That's going to bleed as soon as my heart beats…Sigh'  
_An extra turn on the rack_  
_I'm the quivering of your heart_  
_A stabbing pain, a sudden start_.

Kagome suddenly notices that Inuyasha is asleep and has Sango hit him over the head with her Hiraktosu (s/p?) "Wha… Huh… I'm up, I'm up!"

-_And it's so easy when you're evil  
This is the life, you see  
The Devil tips his hat to me  
I do it all because I'm evil  
And I do it all for free  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need  
And I do it all for free  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need  
And I do it all for free  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need_

Naraku then takes a few minutes to laugh like an evil maniac "MWAHAHAHAHAHA HA cough, cough HAHAHA hack, cough, hack HAHAHA wheeze, hack, cough pant, pant. Okay that's enough!"

- _It gets so lonely being evil  
What I'd do to see a smile  
Even for a little while_

\\ clip of Naraku trying to give some candy to Shippo, who is hugging on to a tree for dear life, and crying like crazy, repeating "please don't kill me! I'm too young and cute to die!"\\

"I thought I was a goner for sure that time"_  
And no one loves you when you're evil_

Naraku takes a short pause to sigh dramatically while looking really sad and heartbroken_  
I'm lying though my teeth!  
Your tears are all the company I need_

Naraku then throws the mike to the floor and does a dramatic pose, with a huge smile on his face.

//// Audience////

Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Koga, and almost everyone there thinking 'That. Was a… really… creepy song'. Inuyasha meanwhile muttering "Damn bastard, blame me for braking Kagome's damn cart, I'm going to make that bastard wish he was never born. Couldn't be content with the whole, making me and Kikyou think we betrayed each other, no he has to go and get me blamed for braking Kagome's cart too" and Kikyou thinking 'oh, yea there's the blood, I should probable bandage that up before I die again from blood loss, hmm… I wonder if there's a trained medic in this place…'

After about five minutes of the dramatic silence Naraku's minions finally stood up "Woo, that was great my Lord! Encore, encore, Woo, You GO my Lord! Woo" soon after this outburst from Naraku's minions, everyone else started applauding him as well. "Oh, your all too much, would you all like me to do an encore!" Naraku said, excitedly "NO!" everyone, including his incarnations, and Kohaku all shouted "Come on, it couldn't have been THAT bad!" "It wasn't bad but listening to you for any longer and I'll go insane!" Someone yelled back from the audience "Oh go fuck yourself!" Naraku replied angrily, killing that random dude, and then stomping off stage.

* * *

Bigtoven: Hello ya'll Hope you like this! Next up is either going to be Kouga, or Shippo, why them you ask? Well its simple, I've already got some very good and funny songs picked out for 'em. Review if you want, don't if you, well don't want to also if you want to flame, then make sure you give a valid reason for it I don't want "Your fan fic sucks stop writing" or some other crap like that. I would rather have "Your fan fic sucks because –insert reason here-.." Also I already warned you about the ooc-ness so you can't complain about that. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Bigtoven**: ello, ello, Bigtoven here with another installment of 'Open Mike Night' … Err… That is the name of this fic right? Any who this ones of the one and only ! Your turn to shine!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, the song '****I Wanna Talk about ME' that's by Toby Keith, nor any references to anything else that might come up.**

Warning: look at the previous chapter.

Rating for this one will be pretty mild. The next one though wow!

_**Stuff to know**_

//// Place/Action ////

\\ Action on screen \\

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

_-Song-_

* * *

////Still in that Tavern////

A while after Naraku's song, and his angry exit, the Inu gang (along with everyone else in the tavern) were eagerly awaiting the next singer. While waiting, some random waitress came up to the Inu gang and dropped off some menus for them to look through, (though sadly there wasn't one for Shippou) then jammed it like there was no tomorrow (what's her problem?). While everyone was talking about the song, Shippou voiced "Hey, I didn't get a menu!" though sadly no one paid any attention to him, so turning towards Kagome he politely stated "Hey, Kagome could I look at your menu?" Kagome was about to respond when she heard some light humming, then whispered singing "- _and it's so easy when you're evil this is the life, you see the Devil tips his hat to me…" _"Inuyasha" Kagome stated aghast at what he was saying "what? Come on you've got to admit, it's a catchy song" Inuyasha retaliated "err… Hey could someone please give me a menu" Shippou tried to interject feebly, though his efforts were in vain. "That's not it Inuyasha, I'm just surprised that you were actually humming" Kagome said, staring at Inuyasha with slight shock on her face, in fact, all around the table were shocked faces. "Oh, yeah just a little humming and suddenly everyone's all shocked. I didn't see any shocked faces when Naraku was up there all singing" Inuyasha said, feeling a bit angry about their shock "hey, is anybody even listening t o me!" Shippou once again tried, but was once again ignored "That's because I was singing not humming you dumb mutt" "That's IT" Shippou interjected, though was again ignored "hey did you just call me a mutt!" "Obviously he did mutt-face" "that's it, you're both dead!" Inuyasha shouted angrily at them, when suddenly… the lights were all out THUMP, POW "MY LEG!" The spotlight once again started up, wildly shining in peoples eyes "AAARRGGGHHH MY CORNIA'S! THE HEELER SAID NOT TO GET BRIGHT LIGHT DIRECTLY SHINED INTO THEM!" The light kept going wildly when "Over here danged, no wonder Naraku was so pissed about the lights!" the spotlight shined on a tiny red fluff ball, no wait it was actually Shippou "What's the little raccoon dog doing on the stage?" Some random dude yelled out "I'm a fox, and I'm up here to sing you nincompoop!" Shippou shouted back, angrily tossing an acorn at the person "Cough, cough err okay, now that, _that_ interruption is taken care of… Okay everybody, I'm going to sing a song called 'I Wanna Talk about ME**'** by Toby Keith

_-Uh...Yeah, that's right_

_We talk about your work, how your boss is a jerk,-_

\\ Pictures of Inuyasha, Naraku, Koga, and Sesshomaru flash on the screen\\

"Hey!"

_We talk about your church and your head when it hurts.  
We talk about the troubles you've been having wit your brother_

\\ Picture of Sesshomaru jumping out from behind a tree and pushing an unsuspecting Inuyasha off a cliff\\

"Aha, they said I was just being paranoid, but I knew!"_  
-'bout your daddy and your mother and your crazy ex-lover.  
_\\ Picture of Kikyou\\

"Hey, I'm not crazy!" starts twitching crazily

_We talk about your friends and the places that you've been_

_We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin.  
The polish on your toes and the run in your hose,  
and God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes.  
_\\ Picture of Kagome running her mouth\\

"I'm not that bad, am I?" Kagome said sadly looking around "please, someone make it stop!" Miroku, Inuyasha, and pretty much everyone in the Tavern all shouted simultaneously "Jerks!"

-_I like talkin' about you, you, you, you usually, but occasionally  
I wanna talk about ME! (Me, me, me,) I wanna talk about ME-E-E. (Me, me, me)  
_"Hey, when did Ginta and Hakkaku get up there?" "The Imp's up there too"_  
We talk about your dreams and we talk about your schemes,  
_\\ Pictures of Naraku pointing towards a board that has 'schemes' underlined, with an arrow pointing towards 'dreams' (Shikon jewel) which is circled\\

_High school team and your moisturizer cream.  
We talk about your nana up in Muncie, Indiana,  
We talk about your grandma down in Alabama.  
_\\ Picture of Kaede wearing sunglasses doing the peace sign\\

"When'd she go there?"

_We talk about your guys of every shape and size,  
The ones that you despise and the ones you idolize.  
_\\ Pictures of Naraku, Koga, and Sesshomaru flash across the screen\\

"Uh… I don't really 'Idolize' Sesshomaru… or Koga" Kagome said blushing "thanks for covering" Inuyasha whispered.

"You dang pervert, Miroku you polluted the poor kids mind!" "I didn't mean t…" ////POW, BANG swirly eyed Miroku lying knocked out on the floor////

(I wanna talk about me) MMMM ME, ME, ME, ME, ME  
(I wanna talk about me) MMMM ME, ME, ME, ME, ME

Shippou then throws the microphone up in the air and does a flip, landing in a split pose with his arms wide in the air.

////Audience////

"…Wow, who'd have thought that Shippou was such an egomaniac" Sango said in shock "forget that who'd have thought the runt could actually sing" Inuyasha replied stunned which the crowd mirrored excellently. Suddenly Kagome jumped up "Woo Shippou, you rock!" Then everyone, err mostly everyone in the Tavern jumped up and started to applaud Shippou. Jumping off the stage, Shippou happily walked over to the table and said "I hope now you'll actually listen to me more often" "Hey, there's steak in here" "ooh I think I'd like to try the white wine" "wow, everything on this menu looks so good, it's hard to choose what to get" "yeah, and everything is so inexpensive as well" were the answers Shippou received "hey, is anyone even listening to me!" Shippou said angrily, and then turning around to look at the other people in the tavern saw everyone to suddenly be deeply engrossed in looking at their menu. "Hey, I still haven't got a menu!"

* * *

Bigtoven: And that's all folks! Hope you'll join me again next time for Koga's song! Just a forewarning, that one's going to be "slightly" perverted. Actually that's going to be the reason this fic is rated M but don't worry, that's just me overreacting, it'll probably just be T worthy… yeah probably. Oh and another thing whoa, didn't know I'd actually write 1,293 words for this one, I thought it would be a whole lot shorter, but oh well, it's still shorter than the other chapter, and hey the more writing the better 'aight? 


End file.
